This Sunday marked the two-month anniversary that a group of insane terrorists changed the fabric of human existence by making Americans do something they have never done before – look over their shoulders. Before the tragic events of September 11th – this country seemed untouchable and immune to terrorism. Besides the World Trade Center bombing in 1993 and the Oklahoma City Bombing in 1995 – this country never suffered a serious terrorist attack – until the morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001 – when life was forever changed.

Since that terrible day, both the Government and the media have been warning us that another terrorist attack was imminent and could happen at any moment – which put each and every American and especially New Yorkers on edge – and on high alert.

Personally, I was concerned as well. I never thought that my City would be attacked – especially in the ferocious way that it was. So since September 11th – I have been waiting for the inevitable – and thought it happened on Monday.

I was sitting at my desk at the Command Center when my boss called me on my Nextel radio. Hearing the speed his car was going and the fact that his sirens were on gave me an indication that something was wrong – but nothing could have prepared me for what exactly was wrong – and what was awaiting me later that day.

In a very frantic voice – Cookie told me that a plane had crashed in the Rockaways. Hearing that horrible statement made me turn white. The fact that a plane had crashed could mean several things. It could mean that the plane had mechanical difficulties and crashed – or it could mean that the inevitable had come – and America was under attack once again.

As soon as word of the crash came over the radio – the Command Center lit up like a Christmas tree. There were people running from one desk to another, there were people shouting instructions to one another – and there were teams of policemen and firemen getting their gear on and getting ready to head to the site. My job was to gather as much information as possible and to call in my fellow Public Information Officers. So I called in the crew – and then proceeded to get the information we needed for this breaking tragedy.

At first, the news reported that the plane was a 767 on route to JFK International Airport – but it was actually an Airbus A-300 that departed from JFK to Santo Domingo. I also found out that the plane had some mechanical trouble just before takeoff – and that the plane was carrying two hundred and fifty five people.

After I gathered the information – Cookie requested that I come to the site. I have to admit that while I always look forward to responding to an incident in person – I had absolutely no desire to see more tragedy – but it’s my job – so I went to the site – and was completely unprepared for what I saw.

When I arrived at the site, I walked right into the Governor’s entourage and followed them to the site. Before we reached the site, the Governor stopped at a gas station – that had the plane’s engine sitting right in the middle of it. Just an hour before I got to the site, I saw an image of the engine on CNN – and now – I was standing right in front of it. Seeing the engine just inches away from me put the incident in perspective and made me realize that this crash was for real – and then I made it to the place of impact – and saw just how real it was.

What was once a quiet corner of the Rockaways was now a smoldering image of horror. There were firefighters, police officers and emergency workers all over the place, there were fires in each of the twelve homes that were destroyed – and there was the smell of burning bodies that I unfortunately am now all too familiar with.

As I gazed at the crash site – I was reminded of the images I have seen at Ground Zero that have been forever burned into my memory. Once again I was staring at a flaming pile of wreckage containing aircraft parts, building parts – and human parts. Once again dozens of firefighters were standing on top of “the pile” extinguishing flames – and pulling out bodies. And once again – I was right in the middle of tragedy.

After a while, I left the crash site and headed to the Ramada Inn at JFK Airport, which was where the families of the victims were heading to receive the news that they already knew. When I arrived there, I walked into the ballroom where the families were taken – and experienced something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

In this room that was big enough to hold a wedding reception, were hundreds of people – who were all crying hysterically at the same time. As I stood in the middle of this room hearing what I can only describe a chorus of sadness – I could not believe what I was witnessing. Here were hundreds of people from all different walks of life that were strangers just hours before – and were now openly weeping in front of each other because they all just found out that their loved one was killed in a plane crash.

I have seen people cry before – but never this many all at once. Everywhere I turned, I saw images of just how horrible this crash was. There were people that were fainting, people that were holding each other and rocking back and forth – and people that were screaming. The two images that I remember most fondly were one scene of two women and two men all huddled together sobbing uncontrollably and talking aloud about how wonderful the person that they lost was. Another image was a woman that had to be carried out of the room because she could no longer stand. As she was being carried out – all she was screaming was, “Oh my God why?” over and over again. Add a few hundred more people to those two stories – and that is what I was witnessing.

As the investigation is continuing, evidence is pointing toward an accident – thank God. But I think that whether or not this was an accident – it was another tragedy that this City did not need right now – and neither did I.