One month ago today was a day that started out just like every other day. People got up and went to work, kids went to school – and passengers boarded airplanes to travel to destinations of their choice. That normal day and every other day since then changed completely at 8:48am on this day exactly one month ago – when hijacked American Airlines Flight 11, carrying eighty-one passengers and eleven crew members, crashed into the ninety-sixth floor of Tower #1 of the World Trade Center – beginning two hours of sheer terror, one month of sadness – and a future of uncertainty.

On one hand, it feels like the attack happened yesterday, and on the other hand, it feels like a year ago. The last month for me has been a blur as I, like everyone else, try and go on with my life after the 11th of September.

In the last month, I have tried over and over again to understand why the terrorists attacked us – and I can not for the life of me come up with a logical reason that would justify such an unthinkable atrocity – but they did. The terrorists that planned the attack last month not only carried it out with no remorse or regret – but actually thought it was a good idea – and that is what gets me the most. How can people think that hijacking four planes and using them and the people inside as weapons to kill thousands of other people and destroy buildings is the right thing to do? Even the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was not as horrific as the attacks last month. And with our forces now bombing Taliban camps in Afghanistan – I wonder if what we experienced last month will be experienced again.

Despite the fact that I have been entrenched in the rescue and recovery effort and have been to Ground Zero at least a dozen times – I still cannot believe that this has happened. Each and every time I drive towards Manhattan, I still hope against hope that I will see the Towers – and each and every day I hope against hope that I will hear from Doug – but I know that neither will ever happen again – and it’s hurts just as bad on the eleventh of October as it did on the eleventh of September.