A Penny For My Thoughts

Honoring Our Lost Brothers And Sisters – At The Scene Of The Crime

By Paul Wein

Since the atrocities committed on September 11th, countless memorials have taken place to honor those injured, those rescued – and those lost. I have personally been to only one memorial at St. Patrick’s Cathedral for the two hundred and ninety two employees of Marsh & McLennan that were lost on the 11th – one of them being my best friend Doug. But since that memorial – I have not been to any others – until this morning when I attended a memorial service for the fallen at of all places – Ground Zero.

When I arrived at Ground Zero at 7:30am this morning, the air was very cold due to low temperatures – and lost lives. My job was to help the sound man get past the security checkpoints – and escort the army band to the site of the memorial, which was a recently erected stage that is used to bring the families of the victims to Ground Zero to say goodbye to their lost loved ones – which is pretty much what we all did today.

When the Mayor arrived and the ceremony was moments away from beginning, the workers stopped their valiant efforts for just a brief moment and gathered at the foot of the stage to join us for the memorial. I have been at many functions where the crowd that awaited the event’s commencement carried on many individual conversations – but this time – all stood eerily silent as they awaited the memorial to begin.

As the service began, I was immediately moved to tears before anything even happened. Just to see firefighters, policemen, construction workers, emergency workers, and members of the military standing side by side to honor the thousands of innocent souls that were lost at the very spot we stood on was truly a site to behold.

As the memorial service continued, we heard songs like Yankee Doodle Dandy, Give My Regards To Broadway – and Amazing Grace played flawlessly by the members of the NYPD and FDNY bagpipers. Then, the US Army band played God Bless America, which has recently become one of the most moving songs I have ever heard – and a song that has brought me to tears countless times – including this morning.

As the memorial was coming to a close, the Chaplain who emceed the ceremony decided to say the prayer of St. Francis, which I have never heard before this morning – but now consider my favorite prayer and a prayer that explains perfectly how I feel about this tragedy and my role in it:

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow charity;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, the truth;
Where there is doubt, the faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light; and
Where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying to ourselves that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

With those words and a prayer that followed – the ceremony was over – and at that moment – all of the workers wiped their tears, turned around – and went back to work to dig, to search – and to hope. And I went back to work as well, feeling full of pride an honor to be an American – and honored to be a part of such an important memorial service – for the thousands of innocent people that I did not know who were lost – and the one person that I did know.

“And this is why my eyes are closed,
it's just as well for all I've seen.
And so it goes, and so it goes,
and you're the only one who knows.”
Billy Joel – And So It Goes