Considering the fact that a non-stop flight from Brooklyn’s JFK Airport to Seattle to Juneau, Alaska was $2,823 – it’s no secret that I opted for a cheaper flight once I saw the price tag. Little did I know that in addition to additional stopovers – cheaper flights also come with additional problems.

When my first of the three planes I was scheduled to take today landed in Minnesota at 10:30am this morning, I was very happy that I only had a one hour layover in the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport until my next flight bound for Anchorage, which was scheduled for takeoff at 11:35am. So I spent the hour between flights doing the South Park Digest and writing a column called, Up There, There Is So Much Room. It turns out that I got so wrapped up in what I was doing that the airline actually had to page me for an, “Immediate Boarding Call”.

Upon hearing my name echoing through the airport, I hightailed it to Gate F8 and thanked God that I made it on the plane before it took off without me. But despite my mad dash for the gate and the anxious call from the airline that the plane was ready for “immediate departure” – we wound up sitting on the plane for an hour due to a problem with the landing gear.

After the hour of sitting in a non moving aircraft and assuring us that the problem would be rectified “quickly” – Northwest Airlines decided to “de-plane” us and, as a token of their “sincere apology” – gave us all a packet containing a five minute phone card and a ten dollar meal voucher – gee thanks. Personally, I would have preferred to pay for my own meal and phone calls if I could have gotten to Anchorage on time and not missed my connecting flight.

So despite the fact that it is bad enough that we have been sitting on an airplane that has not moved an inch since it was supposed to take off four hours ago – I now have to look forward to yet another layover once I hit Anchorage. Sure – they gave me a non-stop flight which avoids me two additional stopovers in Yakutat and Cordova – and even upgraded me to First Class – but to be honest – I would have sat in the cargo bay to avoid the two layovers in Minnesota and Anchorage – because my trip now ends at 9:30pm Alaska time – which is 1:30am New York time. That’s about twenty hours traveling time since the cab picked me up at my house this morning – thanks a lot Northwest Airlines.

It’s bad enough that I have been awake since 5:00am New York time – and even worse – the farther West I travel – the longer the day gets because I am literally going backwards in time. But now, I have to look forward to an additional three hours of travel time thanks to the “efficiency” of Northwest Airlines – who claims that, “Some People Just Know How To Fly” – that may be true – but not in their case. Perhaps the $2,823 would have been worth it.

Next stop – Anchorage?