When I was on vacation in Colorado, the sky was blue and all the leaves were green. The days were filled with fun activities like swimming, acting in a play – and headin’ on down to South Park with some friends of mine – and the nights were filled with friends, “Cartman” – and bathtubs full of beer. But from the moment I got off the plane – reality set in – hard.

From my computer being it’s ever cooperative self, to my phone ringing off the hook, to everyone asking me to save civilization as we know it – to me simply trying to watch videos with Christine, but having to bow to my VCR because, “it won’t let me” – I am reminded as to why they call vacations vacations.

It’s as if the horrors of daily life have to make up for the lost time of abusing me when I was away. It’s hard to believe, but all day today I spent battling with my VCR, computer, TV, phone, videotapes – and basically everything else that I laid my fingers on – all the while trying to spend the day with Christine – who missed me so much that she took the day off from work to spend it by my side. And every time I try to entertain her – either by showing her videotapes or VCDs on my computer – I have to look for something else to do because the inanimate electronic objects will not allow us to do our desired activity.

Even now as I type this column on the pull out couch by her side – she is watching some classic wrestling matches – while the tape continuously flips because the VCR will not adjust the tracking properly.

But the truth is, all the problems I have had with my electronic equipment, my phone – and the people that have called who I did not want to hear from don’t matter – because what is a better welcome home then spending the day in bed with Christine – nothing. I just wish everything around us worked as perfectly as we did.

Please don’t remind me that I have to return to work tomorrow.