I woke up this morning as I have for the last year, in my bed with a down comforter covered by a “cover cover”. I then got out of bed and preceded to look in the mirror on the dresser beside my bed, after which I went downstairs, where the first thing I would see was a group of plants staring back at me – but right now – and for the first time since I slept in this apartment – Sandy’s stuff is gone – and so is she.

Today, to me, represents a more symbolic day then the day I told her I no longer wanted to continue our relationship – it represents the day that the journey that we have taken on the road of life together is truly over. The day that we separate what is ours and follow different paths – and the day that I sit in a house that was moved into by both of us with only shapes on the carpet and empty spaces on the floor where her belongings used to be.

While I feel that separating was the best thing for both of us – the feeling of final separation has left me with a very heavy heart. Even as I sit at my desk – which used to be hers – I reached over for the phone only to find an empty space where her desk that the phone rested on used to be. I sit here in a house that now has an echo due to the fact that the items in the house were suddenly cut in half – and I watched Sandy and a U-Haul full of my past turn the corner for the final time to continue her path down the road of life – without me.

The good news about this is that we are civil with each other. Even today as our one life together became two separate lives for good – we laughed and joked and – hugged – and said goodbye.

It was the saying goodbye that hurt me the most. No matter who, what, when, where – or why we broke up – I still shared two years of my life with Sandy. Two years of love, accomplishments, triumphs, defeats and happiness that is now over – for good.

I have to admit that I am glad that Sandy and I were able to be so friendly as we said goodbye. For the last few weeks, I said some pretty nasty things to her – and for no good reason. I am still sad and ashamed that I said what I said – but amazingly – Sandy still wants to be my friend – what a true lady.

The ironic thing is that while I had to move out of a house with Lis and Lisa – this is the first time someone came to me to move out. As I watched each item being carried down the stairs – I realized the absolute finality that today represented – and what a change of life today begins.

I hope that the rest of Sandy’s life is blessed with happiness, success – and true love. She is someone who touched me so deeply that I broke my own solemn promise to never date again because she made me want to try again. She deserves a life with someone who will treat her like the lady she is. I hope that when she is old enough to drive her own motor home across the country – she fondly remembers what we shared together as positively as I will.