Today was a tough day. For today – I did something that I hope no one ever has to do – for today – I buried my best friend. Besides the sadness that brought me – it was the circumstances of the day that brought me the most sadness of all.

Due to the fact that Sandy developed a relationship with Bradd in the year and a half that we were together, she attended the funeral – and considering the fact that my ex-wife Elisabeth was Bradd’s sister, she was there too. So today, I had to be picked up by my ex-girlfriend, to meet my ex-wife – to bury my best friend.

Putting aside the feelings I have about losing Bradd for just a moment, I am sitting at home with all of the lights off and only a candle to light my way as I write this column contemplating the fact that I had to spend time today with two women that I gave a total of seven years of my life to. Two women that I loved, that I slept next to, that I bought cards for, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with – and then had to go home alone.

Everyone has “exes”, but try to spend your day with the two most important women in your life. The two women that meant the world to you at the time you were together. The two women that you gave silly pet names to, who you kissed goodnight every night, who’s backs you scrubbed in the shower, who you bought flowers for because they were – at the time – the most special person in your life. And now picture going home without either one of them.

I don’t know if it was the emotion of the day, or the fact that I felt like I was at a “Paul Wein Ex-Girlfriend Convention” – but I am sitting here now with the most overwhelming feeling of loss I have ever felt in my life.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not like I want either one of them back. And I don’t mean that in a mean way. I simply mean that I have come to grips with the fact that both me and Lis and me and Sandy are better off apart. I am simply saying that seeing the two of them today in the same room at the same time made me realize that these women – women that I loved, lived with and laughed with – are now part of my past – yet today, they were part of my present – but neither one of them will ever be a part of my future.

I know that today was Bradd’s day. But after spending a day with two ladies who were at one point the most important people in my life – I feel like a part of me died today too. And I feel like I finally realize what an “Ex” is and what an ending means.

And it hurts – bad.