Instead of being nestled all snug in my bed while visions of sugarplums danced in my head – I thought I would spend my Christmas alone in my house with no immediate obligations to attend to, no electronic disruptions – and absolutely nothing to do but think – so during this rare moment, I decided to assess my life as it is right now. While I was assessing my life – I came to a realization that makes me question my entire existence.

I realized tonight that although I have so many good things going for me (The fact that I am a press secretary to the Mayor, I host a TV show about the sport I have always loved – and I work for my favorite TV show) – I do not fully enjoy it because my lack of an “ego” and a lack of self-confidence does not allow me to.

What I mean is that as I sat here tonight, I made several attempts to review the progress of my life up to this point – sort of a report card if you will. In doing so, I made some pretty startling discoveries as to just how far I have come in such a short time:

• My first ever apartment was a basement at 818 Avenue T. There were pipes running across the ceiling and a leak by the bathroom that got so bad that I had to throw away my carpet – and now I live in a two-bedroom duplex complete with a homebar and a terrace.

• For as long as I can remember, I have always loved wrestling. My affection for the sport got so serious that I taped it every week and made my own wrestling column that I wrote for no one but myself – and now I host a TV show in that very sport, have met and interviewed every superstar that I watched growing up and everyone of today’s superstars – and have become such a big part of the business that people that want to start their own federation now come to me for advice.

• I went from a loyal fan of my favorite TV show to someone who works for it and is a part of 47,000 of its fan’s lives each and every day.

• I made $49 dollars a week in my first job as a stockboy – and now I make that in two hours as a Press Secretary.

• In 1989, I hoped to become either an interviewer for a TV or radio station, or a journalist. So I took my video camera and hoped to get my first ever interview with then Mayoral Candidate Rudy Giuliani who was campaigning at a nearby synagogue. After talking to a few of his “key people” – I got my interview – and just 11 years later – he is the Mayor and I am one of his “key people”.

• When I was in Cunningham Junior High School and Sheepshead Bay High School – no one wanted to be my friend. Basically – I was the kid that was always the last one picked in sports – but now I have so many dear friends that I know that no matter what I go through in life – I am never alone.

• I always wanted to write something that has moved someone. Even before I first became a journalist – I hoped that one day the words I would write down would inspire or move someone else – and now for the 212th time – this column speaks my heart, mind and experiences to people whom I have never met, but who have gone so far as to subscribe to my column on-line simply because they enjoy reading it so much.

And most importantly…

• I went from someone who was always worried about my life so much that I was too concerned about it to actually enjoy it – and now – I realize that working to build a life and not enjoying its accomplishments along the way is a waste of time, effort – and one really great life.