A Penny For My Thoughts

So, This Is Christmas

By Paul Wein

Today is a day that as a child, I looked forward to so eagerly that I couldn’t even sleep the night before. A day that was so special to me that when it was over, I was already looking forward to next year – and a day that brought me such joy – that each year it couldn’t come fast enough. The day I am referring to is Christmas Eve.

When I was a child, nothing could even come close to Christmas Eve on the excitement scale. Christmas Eve at my house meant a house full of my family, Z-100 FM Radio’s “The 24 Hours of Christmas,” which started at noon on Christmas Eve and went commercial free all night long until noon Christmas Day – and of course – a ton of presents underneath our tree. So it is obvious why this day was so highly regarded by me in my youth.

The funny thing is that I sit here now no longer a child, but on that same day – and while it may be Christmas Eve – the feelings I used to get as a child on this day are no longer there. Maybe it’s because I am older – maybe it is because of my recent breakup with Sandy – or maybe it’s just because I lost that childhood magic and desire for Christmas, all I know is that while it may be Christmas Eve – to me, it feels like it’s just Sunday.

But it is Christmas Eve, which meant that I had to go to my sister’s house for the holidays, so I left my decoration-less house and headed to the bus stop to go to my sister’s. As I made my way to the bus stop, the neighborhood gave off a quiet and somber feeling of a deserted ghost town. The houses that were decorated for the holidays seemed black and white to me – and as I reached the mall to catch the bus – the shoppers that were rushing home with their treasures seemed as much in the holiday spirit as I was.

When I finally got to my sister’s house, my family and I shared a great meal and exchanged presents – but when I left to head back home – I was once again traveling down the same emotion-less streets while passing by the same black and white houses as much in the holiday spirit as I was earlier today.

I must tell you that now more then ever, I very much miss those old Christmas Eve’s I used to have. I guess they just don’t make them like they used to.

“There’s a road that I remember, leading to a special place,
where the door was always open to a smiling face.
There’s a picture on the mantle of a boy who looks like me,
And it’s always the same, there’s a stocking with my name,
and a candle in the window, a flame against the night.
There’s a candle in the window, it’s like God’s perfect light.
Now it don’t take a lot of money, to know what riches are,
Just a candle in the window – and Christmas in your heart."
Alabama – Candle In The Window