In the constant battle between credit card companies to make sure that they are the company that sends out the most junk mail, our mailboxes are continuously bombarded with offers for credit cards we are “pre-approved” for. Each “pre-approved” offer we receive is always loaded with words like “guaranteed”, “free”, or “low” – when they should contain words like “scam”, “rip-off” or “lie”. These “pre-approved” card mailings claim to offer you a gold card with grillion dollar credit limit with zero percent interest and no annual fee – and then when you send back the “pre-approved” form – you are either denied or sent a card with a one hundred dollar credit limit, an eighty dollar annual fee and a twenty-five percent interest rate – gee, thanks.

Besides the fact that they don’t deliver the card they promise – what does “pre-approved” mean anyway? Either you are approved or not approved – that’s it. And if you are “pre-approved” – then why does your application come back denied? I thought I was “pre-approved”?

And if there is such a thing as “pre-approved” – then can I tell my boss that I want to go to lunch at 10:00am instead of noon because I am “pre-hungry”? Should I go to the bank and try to withdraw my paycheck on Wednesday instead of Friday because I want to be “pre-paid”? Can I close my eyes right now instead of tonight because I want to “pre-sleep”? – of course not. So then you can’t be “pre-approved” either.

So to the millions of credit card companies out there that are so willing to give me one of their credit cards – I make this simple request. Instead of burying me in piles of offers for “pre-approved” credit cards – I would “pre-fer” that you spend the millions of dollars that it costs to print and send these offers on lowering your interest rates and dropping the annual fees that you charge on your “guaranteed low interest and no annual fee” cards that you do send out.

Now that’s a “pre-tty” good idea – isn’t it?