In the working world, it is impossible not to piss someone off. At least once since we punched in for the first time, we have been pissed off by someone and in turn have pissed someone off. When we are the piss”ee”, we usually maintain a level of anger for a little while and then just refer to the person who pissed us off as a moron. But what about when you are the piss”er” and the person you pissed off holds that against you for years to come? I experienced this recently and realized just how idiotically childish holding a grudge can be.

I contacted a former paper I worked for and asked if they would be interested in doing a story on Ring Fever. The paper’s editor, a friend of mine, was more than eager to do the story, seeing as how it had all the elements of a great Brooklyn story, so we made an appointment for that evening. A hour before the appointment, I got an apologetic message from him on my machine telling me that he could not do the story because the paper’s publisher squashed the story because I left his paper to join his competition – five years ago.

To be honest, I was not the least bit surprised by this. I was, instead, surprised that the paper wanted to do the story in the first place – because from the day I left the paper, the publisher hated me and had no problem making his feelings very well known.

I have no problem with him hating me – frankly, I don’t care. But if he chooses to not do a story because of a personal feeling – he is compromising both his own and his newspaper’s principles and ethics. Fine, don’t invite me to dinner at your house – but don’t deny your readers a story because of something I did five years ago.

As for what I “did” – I left his paper for his competition because they offered me a full time job – something I asked him for several times. At the time I worked for him, I was an accountant at Independence Savings Bank and had to work there full time while writing three stories a week which involved attending many nightly meetings. I really wanted to be a full time journalist and with a full time job at his paper I could accomplish that – but he wouldn’t give me the job. When his competition contacted me and offered me what I wanted – I seized the opportunity – something anyone in my position would have done and does almost daily in the business world.

Although I was with his competition for over a year and then became an even more direct competitor when I started up the Brooklyn Baron – I never said anything demeaning or derogatory about him to anyone – because in business, you just don’t do that. Yet, whenever someone mentioned my name to him – he called me every name in the book. Apparently to him, I’m still the same person who left his paper five years later – well I’m not – I’ve come a very long way since then – a shame that he has not.

So although I didn’t get the story I wanted, I did get an education in grudges. I learned that grudges are like bricks – the longer you hold them, the heavier they get – and the sillier you look holding them.