For the longest time, I have wanted an apartment again. Since I lost Paulie’s in October, 1998, I have been living here and there in a room consisting of boxes and suitcases. Each morning I woke up and each night I went to sleep, I would dream of being able to once again have a place where I could finally empty the boxes that traveled with me for the past year and actually live in a house.

The desire to find a place was eating away at me like a cancer for so long and most recently became so intolerable that it had an adverse effect on my personality. I would actually get jealous as I went to my friend’s houses because I would have to go home to suitcases. All hope seemed lost – until now – because I am home.

I am a very strong believer in fate. I have always known that although my destiny in life was unknown to me – it was pre-determined – for every event that has happened in my life has been for a reason and has led up to the next one. I now realize why I had to wait over a year for another apartment – because I was waiting for Sandy.

The way we found this place was fate in itself. We decided to do laundry one night in a place we had never used before. Sure enough, there was a Real Estate office next door. In my desperate yet futile attempt to finally empty my suitcases, I went next door and asked if they could find us an apartment – any apartment – so we can finally move in together. The next day, we looked at two. One I didn’t really like – and our new home.

If good things come to those who wait – then I must have waited a really long time. This is by far the greatest apartment I have ever seen. The living room of the split level is as big as Paulie’s itself. The eat-in kitchen leaves the dining room for my bar, and having two bedrooms gives us a home-office. The second I saw it – I knew it was home.

As I was finally unpacking for the first time in over a year – something I dreamt about every night and never thought I would be able to do, I realized something very important – and very wonderful. Sure, it was great that I was living in a house again. Yes, I loved the fact that I now was able to sleep in my own bed and have a home-office again and not have to feel like a guest in someone else’s house – but that wasn’t what was making me feel so alive – it was then I realized that it wasn’t living in this house – it was who was living with me.

It’s no secret that Sandy is not my first love – but she is my first true love. With her, I have a feeling I have never had before. Whenever I was in a relationship, I would always look toward the future, hoping that we would still be together “down the road” and praying that our love would last forever – I don’t do that with Sandy. Instead, each time I kiss her good morning and each time she holds me at night – for the first time, I know what the future holds for us. From the moment I looked at this apartment that first day, I saw our future as clear as if it was happening at that very moment. As I glanced around the empty apartment, I saw the two of us curled up on the couch watching a romantic movie while feeding each other popcorn. As I walked up the stairs for the very first time never seeing the apartment before, I saw her asleep in the bedroom as I would wake her with a hot cup of coffee and a kiss. As I looked into the spare bedroom which would become the office – which, at the time was pink and purple and covered in Barbie stickers – I saw us hard at work at our respective desks with pictures of our life’s accomplishments hanging together on the walls – joined in unison – just like us.

While the year of waiting for a new place to call home has undoubtedly been very trying – it has taught me a valuable lesson. Yes, living in suitcases in someone else’s house can be very trying – but it is not the house that you live in the makes the home – it’s the person you live with.