Each event in history can be traced back to its point of origin. That one moment that, if altered, would forever prevent that event from ever occurring. For example, if the day your parents met was altered so they never met – you might not be here today. If there is one event in my life that I wish could be altered so it would never have happened – it would be the day I met Lisa.

I can honestly tell you that there is no one I have ever met that has had more of a negative impact on my life. Thanks to her, I have lost friends, belongings, my apartment – and two years of my life that I wasted on her. But thanks to God – I am getting all of that back – and then some.

I met her two years ago in February of 1997 when she called the paper I worked for and asked if she could write a column on spirituality for me because she thought the one we had was inaccurate (that should have been a red flag right there). I must admit, however, that I was quite impressed that she took the initiative to call up a paper and tell them that one of their columns was bad and ask for a job to re-write it, so I invited her down for an interview.

This is where I need to borrow a Delorian. For this is the point of origin that would prevent me from ever meeting her. If I could somehow go back in time and simply tell myself to tell her that I am not interested – I would avoid two years of absolute hell.

After she came down for the interview, we became friends and, eventually, more than friends. We decided to date and from the very beginning, it was bad. Now don’t get me wrong. I cannot say she is all bad. Every couple that breaks up always says their former partner is terrible and ask themselves what they ever saw in that person – the truth is that if the person was as horrible as they say – we never would be with them in the first place. So if you want honesty, when I first met her, I thought she was a beautiful woman who I really wanted to get to know – but then again, at first glance – a Venus Fly Trap is beautiful too.

We started dating and everything snowballed from there. Over the next few months, we broke up and got back together dozens of times. Then in February of 1998, we broke up for good.

During the time we were apart after we broke up for good, we kept in contact with each other and she kept asking me to get back together with her. After asking me for months, I finally said yes in October of 1998.

Looking back, all I can say is that I am an idiot. If love is blind – then I am Stevie Wonder. As they say, everyone forgets why “exes” are ”exes”, so I got back together with her and this time, we decided to move in together and I moved into her place. I can still remember the joy in her eyes as she threw away the stuff I was “not allowed” to keep from my old apartment. While I was there, I felt as though I was in prison. I could not see my friends or my family, I was accused of everything under the sun almost daily, and for Christmas, my present was her calling Bell Atlantic for the phone records on Christmas Eve to see if I was calling other women. So in January, I left again – this time for good.

When I left, I took with me what I could carry and she offered to hold onto the rest of my belongings for me for as long as necessary. Stupid me said ok trusting her once again and, of course, I lost it all when she kept what she wanted and threw the rest away.

The saddest thing about her is that despite her beauty – it is only skin deep. She is a girl who mistakes control and manipulation for love – and when she doesn’t get her way – she punishes those that “disobey” her. She also has a bit of a split personality, where she loves you one day and hates you the next. Basically, a man could sleep with her alone and have a threesome at the same time.

It has been over a year since we broke up and I have to say that although I have lost everything I owned to her, I did not lose my love for life and my desire to go on in spite of her attempt to take everything away from me. If she wants to keep some of my stuff, that’s fine. Let her tuck herself in at night in my bed that I shared with so many other women besides herself. Let her eat off my plates that I used to cook other women romantic dinners. She actually did me a favor, because now that Sandy and I are moving in together, everything we have will be new and fresh and not used and full of bad memories.

I realize that time travel is not a possibility and I cannot go back in time and erase the last two years. I can, however, look at them as an unfortunate learning experience and remember that the next time someone calls me and asks me for a job – to say no.

I really shouldn’t publish this story – but what am I going to do – not get my stuff back?