Getting drunk, wasted, ripped, tanked, blitzed – or hammered – whatever you call it, we’ve all done it. Each of us have drank one too many – and paid for it. At the time, it is anything but funny, but looking back, it’s a riot. All of us have had some sort of bad drinking experience, here are a few of mine.

• I was sixteen years old and an intern at WPLJ-FM. We had our Haunted Halloween Power Cruise aboard the Spirit of New York. After being at sea for an hour, I went to the bar and asked for a soda – but then decided to ask for a beer instead to see if I could get one – and I did. Of course, when you are sixteen and you get a beer, you feel like you just won the lottery. So one became two, and three, and four – but I was so excited about getting beers I forgot that I was drinking for the very first time on a boat that was rocking back and forth. So I got so drunk that I remember getting off the boat and in a cab one minute – and sitting on my toilet the next. I had to throw up but didn’t want to get up – so I coated the inside of my shower and went to bed. Needless to say my mom was not to pleased in the morning.

• It was New Year’s Eve 1992 and I wanted to throw a party. I invited all of my friends over and went out and got every kind of alcohol you could find. Considering the fact that I was 20 and not a “seasoned drinker”, I was not aware that mixing was bad. So to “get into the spirit”, I had a beer; followed by a vodka and cranberry; followed by a mudslide; followed by a screwdriver; followed by a seven-and-seven; followed by a glass of wine and wound up drinking one of everything including a shot of tequila – with the worm. The last thing I remembered was singing American Pie at the top of my lungs until my 1992 ended at 11:48pm when I passed out. I remember my ex-wife Elisabeth waking me up at 12:05am and saying – in a very angry tone – “Happy New Year!”. I looked at my watch, said, “oh” and passed out again. The next morning, I woke up with the worst hangover in the history of human existence. I could not stop throwing up and even to this day the very smell of hard liquor makes me so nauseous that seven years later, I can only drink beer or wine.

• I went out to Wheeler’s and wound up having more Killian’s Reds then I could count. My memory goes from me saying “cheers!” at the bar to lying on my bathroom floor in my house – completely naked. When Elisabeth came in to see if I was ok, I looked at her and said, “Fifty town.” She had no idea what that meant – but apparently I did – because I said it over and over again as if she was the idiot – I even spelled it out. I got so mad that she did not understand me that I reached past her and grabbed the Listerine – because to me, “Fifty town” meant, “Could you pass me the Listerine?” Then, after using the Listerine – and throwing up again – I said, “Half an hour.” “So you want to lie here for a half an hour?” she asked. “No, half an hour.” Again, I was repeating the same thing over and over again until I reached over her again and “half and hour” – or in English – flushed the toilet.

• I went out to the Wicked Monk with Sandy, Mike and Claudia and decided to try a few hard liquor drinks to go with my beer – and in the spirit of “some people will never learn” – I passed out on the table in the bar. The next day, I had to film for Ring Fever. Of course, I was asked by my producer to do an interview – on of all things – the spinning Tornado ride. How I did not throw up or pass out is beyond me.

So I hope that the next time you decide to go out and tie one on, you will read this column again – and have a Pepsi.