I have a resume, just like everyone else. On mine, it says that I am a Strategic Communications/Public Affairs specialist. On Julie’s, it is her journalism experience. But if Beavis had a resume – there would only be one specialty…

…passing out.

I cannot count how many mornings Julie and I got up and dressed for work only to see Beavis passed out without a care in the world. In fact, we came up with a phrase to describe him while he is so fast asleep – “Happy as clams.” What either one of us would give just to be him for one day – as we labor out of the house for a long days work – and he sleeps on my big chair with not a single problem or worry.

They say, according to statistics, that cats sleep an average of 16 hours a day. If that statistic is true – then I would like to come back as one. When I am awake, all he does is sleep. Its as if nothing in the world matters – and his world is nothing but eating, going to the bathroom – and, of course – sleeping. What must it be like to sleep the entire day away? I guess I’ll never know.

What really irks me about his sleeping is that the only time he is awake is when I am not. Every single night I am asleep, Beavis aimlessly walks the whole house meowing like he is a living, breathing broken record. Many nights I have referred to getting up as “meowing up.” Usually, it’s between 2:30 and 3:30am when he starts his unrelenting meow spree – wanting to make sure that I am awake to play with him.

While that habit of his meows so early in the morning is now Standard Operating Procedure – my question is why? It probably is because he slept all day. That is most likely the case – but that doesn’t mean it pisses me off any less. I wish he would just realize that I need to sleep – and shut off the meow button.

I wish to God that I can sleep close to 70 percent of the day – but I cannot. Instead, I will go on loving Beavis…

…and being jealous of him.