I’m the type of person who has very intense memories. In addition to the memory itself, I can vividly remember what my senses were feeling during that memory. From the smell of the ocean in Mexico when I went horseback riding on the beach, to the smell of my mother’s cooking on Christmas Eve 1987 – my perception of memories is quite clear…

…but of all the times I wish it was not – it’s when I remember the events of today eight years ago.

Besides remembering feeling the pounding of my chest as my heart raced and adrenaline pumped through my body as I realized that Doug was in danger and we were under attack, I remember what each of my five senses felt that horrible day. I remember seeing the burning buildings and people jumping; I could smell the jet fuel and smoke from the towers; I recall hearing the endless stream of blaring sirens and the screams of frightened onlookers; I could touch the debris scattered all over the place as a result of the impact of the planes – and I could taste the tears as they streamed from my eyes wondering if my best friend would live through this atrocity.

It’s hard to believe that eight years have gone by, but it still – and always will – feel like yesterday to me. They say that time heals all wounds, but I think that some wounds are too painful to heal. Even now, hearing certain songs, seeing pictures of Doug and even remembering some of the great memories that we had together still makes me cry.

Each year, the memorial services, the specials on television and the amount of people who pause to remember what happened gets smaller and smaller. It’s almost as if the farther away the event – the less important it is – but not to me. Besides losing Doug to the hands of monsters, I worked at Ground Zero and the OEM Command Center for three months. I lived and breathed that attack for 90 days of my life. So it will always be a part of me each and every day no matter how much time passes.

No matter if this is the eighth or the eightieth anniversary of the day Doug’s life was stolen and mine was changed forever, it will always feel to me on this day…

…like he died all over again.