A Penny For My Thoughts

Just Another Day…

By Paul Wein

Author’s Note: For those of you who know my personal connection to 9/11, and for those of you who do not – please understand that this column is written out of pure anger. I do not literally mean some of the things this column says. I just have so much disgust in my heart over how I have to treat tomorrow that I had no choice but to write this.

Tomorrow, for those of you who remember – as some people have not – is the eighth anniversary of the life-altering attacks of September 11, 2001. Each year, for the last eight, I have gone into seclusion, cried all day, watched the ceremony and cried as they read the name Douglas Jon Farnum – and thanked so many people who have called me to see if I was okay and told me that not I – but Doug – was in their thoughts…

…but tomorrow – I am going to work.

The reason for this is because a few months ago I had a very serious family emergency due to a sick relative that drained me of all remaining sick, vacation and personal time that I had left. That said, I cannot take an unpaid day off – which I understand is my company’s policy and one I have no problem with and respect. But because of that emergency – I have to treat tomorrow as if it were just Friday, September 11, 2009…

…and not the eighth anniversary of the worst day of my life.

When they read Douglas’ name as one of the dead – I will be doing what I would be doing on any other typical Friday – doing my job to the best of my ability and anxiously awaiting the weekend. When the four ten bell salutes ring: at 8:46 a.m. when the first plane hit the North Tower of World Trade Center and killed my best friend; at 9:05 a.m. when the second plane hit the South Tower; at 10:02 a.m. when the South Tower collapsed; and 10:26 a.m. when the North Tower collapsed – I have to do what I have done since January 2, 2008…

…and not what I have done for the last seven years on that most tragic of days – mourn.

I feel guilty enough that I drove Doug to work on that fateful Tuesday. I feel horrible that I had to take a class for work and take the Path train – whose final stop had to travel through the place where he died. Now – I have absolutely no choice but to – for the first time since that “day that will live in infamy” – miss the ceremony and my emotions that accompany it – and pretend that today was September 11, 2000 – and that the World Trade Center is still standing…

…and that my best friend is still alive.

I have never forgiven myself for driving him to his death – but now – I have something worse to never forgive myself for…

…forget tomorrow – against my will.

I am so sorry Doug…

…I am so sorry.

“I turn on the tube, what do I see?
A whole lotta people cryin’, ‘don’t blame me.’
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else.
Spend all their time feelin’ sorry for themselves.
A victim of this, a victim of that.
Your momma’s too thin and your daddy’s too fat.
Get over it.
Get over it.
All this whinin’ and cryin’ and pitchin’ a fit.
Get over it – get over it.
You say you haven’t been the same since you had your little crash,
but you might feel better if I gave ya some cash.
The more I think about it, old billy was right,
let’s kill all the lawyers – kill ‘em tonight.
You don’t want to work, you want to live like a king…
…but the big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing.
Get over it.
Get over it.
If you don’t want to play, then you might as well quit.
Get over it – get over it.
It’s like going to confession every time I hear you speak.
You’re makin’ the most of your losin’ streak
Some call it sick – but I call it weak.
You drag it around like a ball and chain.
You wallow in the guilt, you wallow in the pain.
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown,
got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down.
You bitch about the present and blame it on the past.
I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass.
Get over it.
Get over it.
All this bitchin’ and moanin’ and pitchin’ a fit.
Get over it – get over it.
Get over it.
Get over it.
It’s gotta stop sometime, so why don’t you quit.
Get over it – get over it.”
Eagles – Get Over It