A Penny For My Thoughts

“I’m Kinda Having A Mini Freak Out Here”

By Paul Wein

Last night, a truly dear friend of mine – and an ex-girlfriend – named Lisa came to visit Julie and I with her fiancé Kevin. We laughed, joked around and had a great time. At dinner – which Lisa was kind enough to pay for in celebration of Julie and I – I took a picture of her and Julie. I am sorry and embarrassed to say that I have a collection of pictures of multiple people I have “been with” in the same photo – something I have come to call “The Family Album.” This one, however, is different…

…because in 20 days – Julie will become my wife.

I must confess that I do not have “cold feet” – but rather that I am nervous – because the last time I got married, I had only “been with” one girl before my first wife. But this time – I have 12 years of history behind me – a part of which had dinner with me and my future wife today – and two more that I spoke to on the phone this evening. I have told many, many girls that I would marry them – but in less then three weeks – I am about to go through with it for the second time.

I spoke to Lisa on the phone a few weeks ago and she said something very nice. She told me that she wanted to meet Julie before the wedding and I asked her why. She said, “I have seen you ‘be with’ so many women – and any woman that could finally nail you down to marriage must be someone very special.”

She’s right – and an endorsement like that from an ex-girlfriend is huge.

I can’t say enough wonderful things about Julie and look forward to marrying her more then life itself. And I know that she – above all others – is the perfect choice for my wife. It’s just that after 12 years of being “single” – I can’t help but feel weird about putting a ring – not on her finger – but on mine. In Jurassic Park, Jeff Goldblum said, when asked by Sam Neill if he was married, answered, “occasionally.” And when pressed, said, “I’m always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.” Not in any way do I think that Julie would leave me – or do to me what my ex-wife did – but I can’t help being nervous.

I will get over this “Mini Freak Out” and be the best husband I can be. I guess just seeing Lisa tonight and realizing it is real made me nervous.

Don’t worry Julie – I’ll be there at the altar…

…and for the rest of our lives.

“To all the girls I’ve loved before,
Who traveled in and out my door,
I’m glad they came along,
I dedicate this song,
to all the girls I’ve loved before.
To all the girls I once caressed,
and may I say I’ve held the best.
For helping me to grow,
I owe a lot I know,
to all the girls I’ve loved before.
The winds of change are always blowing,
and every time I try to stay,
the winds of change continue blowing,
and they just carry me away.
To all the girls who shared my life,
who now are someone else’s wife,
I’m glad they came along,
I dedicate this song,
to all the girls I’ve loved before.
To all the girls who cared for me,
who filled my nights with ecstasy,
they live within my heart,
I’ll always be a part,
of all the girls I've loved before.”
Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias – To All The Girls I Loved Before