They say that when a person experiences a traumatizing event, they should try and find a positive aspect of the negative experience, and, using that positive aspect, realize that despite the negative experience, there is indeed a positive result. Considering the fact that I have experienced a very traumatizing event recently, I thought I would take this opportunity to see if this theory actually works – it does.

I have always been a “stuff” person. My belongings were always very important to me for a variety of reasons. Some of my stuff told stories of an event in my life, while others were a record of an accomplishment, while others were monuments of family and friends long gone. Recently, I learned that all of my stuff had been discarded remorselessly by a person I used to be involved with. This experience has obviously left me devastated. I mean, let’s face it, when you take a “stuff” person’s stuff away from them, it hurts – bad.

So, here I am left without anything to show for the almost twenty-eight years I walked the face of the Earth – an obviously negative and traumatizing experience. So, using this theory, I searched for the positive aspect of this negative experience – and I found it in the last place I thought to look.

After the relationship I had with this person ended, I swore up and down that I never wanted to date anyone again. After what I went through – who could blame me? Then, as they say, when you stop looking for something – it smacks you in the face.

Enter Sandy.

They say God works in mysterious ways – and since I met Sandy, I am starting to realize that to be true more and more each day. I mean, here I am, never wanting to date again – and wham – I meet the woman I have waited for my whole life – and the funny thing is, I couldn’t have met her at a better time.

It is ridiculous to assume that when two people meet and decide to date that they have never been in a relationship before. And with those prior relationships, each person comes into their new relationships a little more educated on how to make sure their next relationship is more successful than their last.

Sandy and I have almost parallel pasts. We have experienced heartache, sorrow, lies deceit, loss of personal belongings – and even divorce. So coming into our relationship, we realize what hurt feels like – and know not to inflict it on each other.

So here we are, together with a past of bad relationships and no stuff to show for our lives because the people we were with before we met decided to discard everything we own. So I guess we will have to start from scratch – together.

Remind me to send Lisa a thank-you card.