I have been thinking a lot lately about the future, about what lies ahead, about what awaits me, and I remember how the future used to be the most important thing in the world to me. No matter what I had today, I would think of tomorrow. It did not matter if I had everything I wanted here and now, it was tomorrow that I would focus on, completely ignoring the life I had before me – and now I realize that was the worst thing I could have done.

Let me tell you a story: A long time ago, I used to date someone who I thought was the woman of my dreams. I wanted nothing else but to spend the rest of my life with her. The problem was that whenever we spent time together, all I would do was talk about our future, about where I hoped we would be years from now – completely ignoring what we had today the entire time. Instead of enjoying every day that I spent with her – I would be too busy planning the next one.

“Don’t plan,” she would tell me, “Focus on today,” she would say – but I didn’t listen. Instead, I would fill my head – and hers – with thoughts and plans for tomorrow.

This behavior obviously and justifiably frustrated her to no end and eventually cost me the relationship, The funny thing was, I thought she was wrong the whole time. I thought that dreaming, planning and preparing the future was the right thing to do while her “take life day by day and don’t plan the future” philosophy was irresponsible and reckless. How could one go through life without a plan?

It took me a long time after the relationship was over to realize that it was my fault we were no longer together. It was my fault for not taking the time to enjoy the moments we had instead of always planning the future ones. It was my fault for putting expectations in my head and then getting upset when she did not meet them – and most importantly – it was my fault for not realizing that she was right all along.

Do you plan? Do you place goals and expectations in your future and, in doing so, miss out on parts of your life today because you are too busy trying to attain those preconceived goals? Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having hopes and dreams for the future, but when you take those hopes and dreams and begin to schedule dates for attaining them, stopping at nothing until that day comes only to get upset when that day passes and your goal is not yet achieved, you are losing out on the best part of your life – today.