Have you ever seen a depiction of The Expulsion From Paradise? It is a painting showing Adam and Eve being thrown out of the Garden Of Eden. To me, it is a reminder that all things end. It is of endings that I wish to speak.

I have often wondered what it would be like to know the day you are going to die. I recall watching a documentary once on, of all things, death. As I watched the documentary, I saw a very cocky, tough-guy killer on death row smoking a cigarette. The narrator told of the man’s heinous crimes that led him to this final day, for he was about to be led to the electric chair. As I watched this, I remember saying to myself that I could not imagine what that must be like, waiting to be led to the electric chair.

When they came for him, “Mr. Tough Guy” suddenly didn’t seem so tough anymore. While at the beginning of the segment, he looked like he was waiting for a bus rather than the electric chair, he went white when they came for him, because his bus came all right, and his next stop was his last.

As they were walking him down the “long hallway”, I wondered to myself what he must have been thinking. Knowing that that walk down the hallway would be his last steps. Realizing that when he past the cell where his buddy was, that that would be the last time he saw him. I could only imagine what he must have been going through as they strapped him in the chair and prepared him for the flick of the switch. From the moment I saw that documentary, I always wondered what that would be like. Recently, I found out.

On Friday, September 25th, I went to Cornell Medical Center for an Electrophysiology Study which entailed inserting three catheters, or “tubes” into my heart to “shock” it from the inside. Despite the fact that I was informed that the procedure was routine and that everything was going to be fine (and obviously it is, due to the fact that I am here to write about it), I found myself comparing me to the man in the documentary.

Here I was, sitting in the hospital waiting for someone to call me so they can strap me down and place electric currents in my heart. No matter what anyone said, no matter what anyone did to try and calm me down, and believe me, everyone really tried, I could not get the man in the documentary out of my mind, because I felt like I could relate to him. Both of us were being led to a room where we would be strapped down and have electricity run through our bodies. The only difference between him and I was that I didn’t do anything to deserve this fate. I kept asking myself, What horrible crime have I committed to deserve such a sentence?

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have had surgery. From a tonsillectomy to a bypass, we have all gone “under the knife.” Personally, I have gone “under the knife” twice in my life. When I was two, I had a hernia operation and when I was twenty-three, I had reconstructive sinus surgery. While I was, of course, scared of the procedure and the obvious pain I would endure after I woke up, I was never afraid of not waking up. When I went to Cornell, I thought it would be my last day.

I remember fighting back tears as they put me on the stretcher and wheeled me into the operating room. I remember cringing as they strapped my legs and my arms down and began to place the electrodes on key areas of my body. When they began to sedate me, I thought of all of the things I have never done, all of the places I have never been, and all of the friends I have made. Then I thought of my best friend, the one friend that would be with me through every step of the surgery, the one who would make sure that I would wake up, the Lord above, and as I thought of Him, “Lord be with me” was the last thing I said before I blacked out.

I have to say that I have always believed in God, although I was never brought up practicing any kind of religion, I always knew that God was watching over me. I have had some things happen in my life that I thought I could never recover from, but I had faith – and what do you know – everything worked out.

Now I am not pushing any kind of religion nor am I telling you that whatever you believe is wrong. All I am saying is that whatever you call Him, there is a Higher Power, a Creator, a God, call Him what you will, but He is there, right now, watching over us and helping us follow the right path.

Although I give credit to my doctors for the successful surgery, I know that there was a second set of hands along with the doctors. Medical science has done many studies recently on the power of prayer and its effect on the sick. I am here right now because of that power. I am alive after having three near-death-experiences this year alone because of that power. And believe me, that power is real.

Whatever you believe in, whatever your faith, just remember that when we feel alone, abandoned, or feel like there is no hope, there is always the power of prayer and the power of the Lord. He is there for you right now, and if you talk to Him, I bet he will not only hear you, but answer you as well.

God Bless.