Have you started your holiday shopping yet? I haven’t. I always do this. I wait until the last minute and become one of those frantic lunatics running through the mall hoping to find the perfect gift for everyone on my list – as if anything will be left on the shelves by the time I start shopping.

I am the worst shopper, because I look for gifts for someone else and pick out just the right thing – for me. And I wonder why I don’t get any Christmas shopping done.

I am the typical list-type-shopper. Before I venture to Kings Plaza, I sit down and make a list of each person I intend to buy gifts for. The usual people are first: mom, girlfriend, sis, niece and nephew. Then I choose those other family members, friends, workers and business contacts I should buy gifts for. My problem is that as I make the list, I see the dollar signs start to rise with each name on the list – and I freak. But, ’tis the season, and off to the mall I go. Once at the mall, I make a conscious effort to avoid “looking around,” or “browsing,” because all I will find are gifts for me. I say “hi” to Santa and begin to dodge the thousands of shoppers rushing at me with their treasures, so I may try to complete my list as quickly as possible.

Then it happens, as if before I get to the mall, the Kings Plaza Merchant Department issues a memo to every store in the mall stating the following:

I guess I shouldn’t blame anyone but myself for getting into this predicament each and every year. I, after all, promise myself that next year I will begin my holiday shopping earlier and, don’t you know it, it happens again. So, the intricate list goes out the window and I rush around like a lunatic trying to remember what everyone likes. If I have this much trouble, then how does Santa do it?

I will begin my holiday shopping this weekend. It’s about time, because I need a few things...