Four years ago today, my friend Bradd Beck, whom I had known since 1988, passed away after a long and grueling battle with Lymphoma. He was 32.

I still remember, as if it were still that fateful day, how I found out that he was taken from us. I was at home and I got a phone call from Bradd’s sister Sharyn, who told me that they were going to the hospital to pick Bradd up and take him home. Then, just about an hour later – I got a call from her husband Doug, who, over the phone, uttered two simple words…

…“He’s gone.”

That was the first time I had ever lost a friend, the first time I had lost someone close to me since the death of my father in 1981 – and the first time I had to deal with death as an adult. Immediately, I lost it. I remember just thinking about all of the things Bradd and I had done together that we could never do together again. From getting published in newspapers, to commentating wrestling matches – to just hanging out – because Bradd was gone, I was now on my own.

Even now, four years to the day of his death, I still miss him and wish he were here doing the same things with me that we used to do. After we lost Bradd, Ring Fever was never the same again, it never had his on-camera sarcasm and humor. Writing an article has never been the same, because there is only one name on the by-line. And watching shows that I know Bradd would have loved – like Chappelle’s Show and Greg the Bunny – are not the same because they are missing his laughter and comments about funny parts of episodes. No matter how much time goes by – certain things in life will never be the same without him.

I know that today, I am not the only one remembering him. So are his sisters Sharyn and Elisabeth – as well as his mom Honee. To them, I send my prayers and my support. I know how much he meant to me – so I can only imagine how much he meant to you. May you find the strength to mourn his loss and the courage to continue your own lives with him in your hearts.

And Bradd, I can feel the tears already flowing as I begin to type this message to you. For many years, you added to my life in a way that no one else could have. How honored I am that I was able to enjoy you and your soul as my friend and my brother-in-law for the time God gave me of you. And I know now that you are in a place where everyone else that has been taken from this Earth is gaining from you and your essence. I always think of you and what an amazing friend you are to me – and I know that one day – we will meet again…

…until then.