I have been through so many breakups in my life – that I consider myself to be an expert on relationships. I say expert because I could counsel anyone, man or woman – on how to make sure their relationship is a perfect one – or how to get through a heartbreak – and I could also tell them what it is they are doing wrong towards their significant other. The only problem I have is that while I could make sure others enjoy the relationship of relationships – I just can’t seem to do it for myself.

It seems that when I am in a relationship, I have plenty of love to give. I am always willing to do whatever it takes to make the woman I am with very happy, I would give her the shirt off of my back – and I would sacrifice my own wants and needs to provide her with hers. While to me, this is gentlemanly behavior and something a good boyfriend should do – I have been told by many of my past girlfriends that this behavior is both annoying and smothering…

…so what do women want?

I have always said that women are the most unique and confusing creatures on this planet – and I guess when it comes to the women in my life – I am right. I can’t count the amount of times that I have had girlfriends tell me that I am “too much” or “constantly on top of them.” But then, when I back off because they ask me too – I am now too distant. Some classic examples of this are when one ex of mine actually told me that I buy her too many flowers – and that I should never buy her flowers again. Another once told me, after sending me countless e-mails and cards full of “mushy” stuff – that I was the one that was suddenly too “mushy.” I also recall an ex of mine actually turning down attending The Essence Awards with me because we spent too much time together.

So again, I ask, what do women want?

It seems as if I am caught in the worst of “catch-22” situations. Deep down, I do really want to find a woman to love for the rest of my life, because I have so much love to give. Even though I am currently dead set against dating someone, I truly want to find someone to share my life with and grow with as a person – but apparently – my behavior as a boyfriend makes that impossible. How ironic it is that when it comes to finding the woman of my dreams – it is I who is my own worst enemy.

While I guess that I have no choice but to blame myself for the fact that I am single – because every woman I dated has basically told me the same thing, and they can’t all be wrong – I also blame women as a whole. Guys are wrong if they are distant and wrong if they are “mushy.” We’re either too loving, or not loving enough. Men either give too much of themselves or too little. And no matter what we do to try and please women – it never, ever seems to work.

As I have stated many times in the past, I absolutely refuse to change who I am in order to find a woman. If I am going to be accused by someone for being too loving – than so be it. I would rather be wrong for being overly loving and too “mushy” – than for being too rude or too distant. So rather than play the emotional guessing game and continue my streak of turning potential mates into ex-girlfriends – I would rather leave this battle to the other men out there that wish to continue running themselves into women’s emotional brick walls – that cannot be knocked down no matter how many times they try.

And people wonder why I am through with dating.