A Penny For My Thoughts

History Of My World...Part 9

By Paul Wein

I have done a lot of things in my life. I got kissed on the lips by Goldie Hawn, I celebrated the Fourth of July in Alaska, I climbed a 130-foot Crow’s Nest aboard a 17th Century sailboat, I was on the Pitcher’s and Catcher’s float during the 2000 Yankee Parade, I commentated wrestling on live television in Hilton Head, South Carolina – and I modeled clothing in a Leukemia Society Charity Fashion Show with the cast of One Life To Live. But of all the things I have been lucky and blessed enough to accomplish – I am most proud of the fact that as of this column – I have published the 9th book of the open diary of my life.

Since March 12, 1997, I have written 826 columns detailing the last eight years and 133 days of my life. In these nine books are nearly every experience I have endured – whether good or bad. No matter if I succeeded or failed, loved or lost – or lived or died – my existence has found its way into the pages of these books. And as I grew as a person, my stories have grown with me – from the very first to the most recent.

With each book that I publish, I marvel at the fact that I have documented so much of my life. I sometimes reflect on ancient memories of my life as a child and wish I had written down my thoughts, feelings and emotions during that time of my development. But how lucky I feel that I began doing that at the age of twenty-five – and never stopped.

Whenever a president leaves office, he is given a library that chronicles his presidency, as well as the major events of the four or eight years of his leadership. I have always felt that each and every one of us begin our lives with an empty library – and have the opportunity to fill that library with the books of our lives. Every single experience we live through – whether positive or negative – is something worthy of remembrance. The lives that we live are our own to cherish and recollect upon – and what better way to do it than through our own written account of those events?

I will confess that this column begun by force, as I had to write a column as Editor-in-Chief of The Brooklyn Baron. But despite the reason for the column’s origin – I have kept it alive long after my tenure at The Baron – for no other reason than the fact that I enjoy keeping a written record of this wonderful life that I have lived.

This most recent record of my life has taken me 305 days to complete. From September 20, 2004 to today, I have lived yet another lifetime, beginning with my return from Ohio – and ending with my endurance during the toughest period of my life so far – along with everything in between. From vacations, to a World Series, to the most important election in our nation’s history, to heartbreak and jadedness, to professional difficulties – to a fresh start – these last 100 columns have, like those that came before them – mapped my last eleven months down the road of my life. Through my own words, I created a written documentation of my life that I or anyone else can revisit at any time they choose.

Besides my own admiration for this amazing endeavor – I am proud and honored to say that I have amassed a following of readers who follow my journey with me through my columns. By reading what I write, they get to know me as a person, and travel with me down my path with each word that they read. I often get e-mails from people telling me that they enjoy what I wrote – and I am humbled by each and every one that I receive. How incredible it is that others look forward to the next entry in my own personal journal. And how flattering is it that many people I know have, since reading my columns – begun to write their own – something I encourage everyone to do.

Each of us have lives that contain the same things – ups and downs, good times and bad times – and highs and lows. But no matter our individual paths – everyone who journeys down a path should keep a written log of that journey – so they can look back at it and relive it at anytime. Despite the situations we are in – it is inevitably us and us alone who choose how we live our lives – and what we choose to remember. I choose to remember my life in the form of a written journal that I will proudly place in the library of my life. I prefer to maintain an accurate and detailed record of my journey for the last eight years and forever more – so when I am ready to take my last breath – I can open the pages of one of my books – and live my life all over again – one column at a time.

“In looking back at the faces I’ve been,
I would sure be the first one to say,
when I look at myself today,
Wouldn’ta done it any other way.”

Jim Croce – The Hard Way Every Time