Today is March 1st, which means that since I said, “Happy New Year” only 59 days ago, two months of 2005 have already passed, the first day of Spring is in 19 days – and I have, so far, had both the most difficult and the most educational year of my life.

Since the first of this year, I have gone through several experiences that have not only put me in a very dark place emotionally, financially and mentally – but have completely altered the course of my life. Almost consecutively, I lost two out of my three sources of income, as well as yet another love lost. If that is not enough, I am leaving my full time job this Friday without awaiting employment simply because – quite frankly – my production far outweighs my salary. So, on the first day of only the third month of this year – my life is in complete disarray.

But although my current situation is downright horrible – it is also educational – because going through these experiences have taught me much. And I realize that the knowledge I have gained from these last two months is extremely valuable – and that gaining this knowledge, albeit under terrible circumstances – will also alter the course of my life – but in a positive way rather than a negative one.

I will begin with the first blow I took this year. It was when I quit publishing a real estate newspaper I began working on in September of 2004. Essentially, I took a newsletter and converted it, from scratch, into a color newspaper that brought the organization it represented a more professional look, stronger recognition – and more money through advertising. But from the get-go, my efforts were met with nothing but complaints, constant demands – and thankless arrogance. As much as I tried to deliver a quality product through my graphic design efforts and my printer’s flawless service – every issue published was just that – an issue. Finally, after four issues of nothing but negativity – I quit. I simply told them that publishing their newspaper was nothing but a thankless job, and that they could take their money and their attitude elsewhere. The bad news is that I lost a nice chunk of monthly change – but the good news is that I have learned, through my sources, that the new publisher they hired is causing them even more headaches than I allegedly did. This is where I learned my first valuable lesson of 2005 – which is that in some instances, there will be clients, colleagues, co-workers and employers that you simply cannot please – because no one can. And while they may be paying you a fee for your service, it is sometimes necessary to cut your loss and lose the income – because no amount of money is worth trying to appease the inappeasable.

In an almost a karma-esque one-two punch, the second blow I took this year was the complete opposite of its predecessor. Yes, I lost another source of income – but this time – it walked away from me. I was publishing another paper for someone who I thought was both a colleague and friend. As I was halfway through the January 2005 issue – he told me, when I called him to go over the layout – that he wanted to give the paper to someone else to publish. Having no knowledge, and no notice that he was going to do this – I was completely financially unprepared – and still feel the monetary repercussions to this day. More than the financial blow I took, I was more hurt by the fact that I thought this person was a friend of mine, and would have at least given me an issue’s notice to prepare for the financial wallop this would have on my monthly intake – but instead, he yanked the paper away from me – and has not called me since. I really thought that our friendship meant more to him than that, but I guess I was wrong – which brings me to my second invaluable lesson of 2005 – just because someone is trustworthy as your friend does not mean they can be trusted as your business partner – mixing friends and business is like combining ammonia and bleach – lethal.

The third of the several painful blows that I took this year was not a financial one – but rather a romantic one. Simply put, I once again placed my trust, my love and my heart in yet another woman who is now – as expected – no longer in my life. As clichι as this will sound, I really liked this girl and hoped that we could hit it off, but, as we progressed, there were some behaviors I noticed that made me think that I was not the only person she was seeing. Not to belabor the point, but I began noticing that to some people who called her, I was her boyfriend – while others were told that she was, “at a friend’s house.” After all the relationships I have been through, I not only knew what was going on – I lived it before. So I told her, on my birthday – that I had enough. We parted amicably and a part of me still misses her – but she taught me 2005’s lesson number three – which is, for me, that it is better to stay single than to try and once again build a relationship – because romance, while wonderful at first – can come to you out of nowhere – and leave just as fast.

The fourth and final blow will come this Friday, when I will leave my full time job with no job to go to. The reason I am doing what many have called, “career suicide” is simple – in fact – it is the fourth lesson I have learned so far this year. It is that no one should work for any less than they, their position, or their product is worth. And for the last eight months – that is exactly what I have been doing. Granted, when I had the other two facets of my income coming in each month, the fact that I was not getting the salary I was worth was not as much of an issue. But now that I have only one income – and now that my job has increased tenfold and has generated nearly one hundred marketing materials in less than a year’s time – I have reached the point where I should be given what I am worth – if not more. The problem is that despite the tremendous and ever flowing wealth of the company I work for – they claim to not have the financial wherewithal to afford my desired salary. I do realize that I could stay there and collect a salary while I do nothing but look for another job, but sometimes preserving your dignity, pride and sanity are more important than looking at your paycheck with disgust rather than reward.

In a way, this year has so far been nothing but torture. I can’t sleep or eat; my personality has taken a very negative, pessimistic and nasty turn; my friends, while extremely supportive and understanding, have been wearing thin of my current demeanor – and I have slowed down on writing this column. But now that I realize how this whole experience has been such a revelation, I see that from every bad experience, there comes a good one; In every cloud there is, indeed, a silver lining – and that, as I have always said, everything, whether good or bad – happens for a reason.

Hopefully, with this newly acquired knowledge, the rest of this new year will be happy indeed.