As if there is not enough glorious experiences to stress me out so far this year, today is Valentine’s Day. And besides wearing all black to work today – I have also spent the day thinking a lot about the history of my love life – and have finally realized that I can’t get it right – and that it is time to finally throw in the towel – and give up.

Born in Japan, Poet Otomo No Yakamochi lived from 716 to 785 A.D., and once wrote, “Better Never To Have Met You In My Dream…Than To Wake And Reach For Hands That Are Not There.” At this present time in my life – I couldn’t agree more. At the age of thirty-three, I have been in more relationships than I care to remember or mention – and more than ever – I wish that all of them had never taken place. The reason for this is simple, while there were many happy memories during, “the good times” of each of my past relationships – now they are over – and all I am left with is pain, sorrow – and loneliness.

This Valentine’s Day, or “Black Monday” as I have been calling it all day – I feel more lonely than I have ever felt in my life. Whether it is because of all of the other things going on in my life – or the fact that I simply feel alone this February 14th – this feeling really hurts nonetheless. And like a really bad stomach ache that brings your life to a halt – I would give anything for it to go away.

As I sit here in a dark and empty house on the day that is considered by many to be, “the most romantic day of the year” – I can’t help but reflect on what I once had and lost – and why I am alone at this moment. No matter the person to blame or the reason for the breakup – the fact remains that I have had over a dozen serious relationships in my life and am now sitting here alone writing this column. And the worst part is that while I am here in my empty house – widow’s peak deep in melancholy – over a dozen women who once adored me are currently having a very happy Valentine’s Day – with someone else.

My thirty-third year of life is unlike any other age I have ever reached. Since I have turned thirty-three, I have seen this world and all that it has to offer through a very different set of eyes. I have viewed my life and everything to do with it in a completely new manner. Thanks to aging another year – I see life itself differently – especially when it comes to relationships.

While in the eyes of the world, “all men are pigs” – I have learned that women can be just as deceptive, covert – and false. While for the rest of eternity, men will continue to expertly fill their stereotypical role – women have, throughout time, been just as deceptive – but a lot more cunning.

While I have not necessarily been, “the perfect man” throughout my life – and while I am not saying that every time I lost a love it has been their fault – I will say that throughout my relationship, “career” – I have had my share of severe heartbreak. When I was married, I walked in on my wife and another man. I dated a girl who told me, on my birthday, that she was engaged to someone else the whole six months we were together. I have been lied to, cheated on, humiliated – and worse. So now, as I think about my future and “the next girl to sweep me off my feet” – I realize that if I have anything to do with it – no one will be next.

Am I saying that I will never touch another woman again? Of course not. But I am saying that from now on, I will make it clear to any woman that intends to be more than friends with me, from the initial handshake, that if she is looking for a serious relationship – then she is looking in the wrong place. I will alert her from the get-go that I in no way want to be someone’s boyfriend. I will explain to her that I am single and plan to stay that way for a long time – and that if she wants to fall in love – she better look elsewhere…

…and I will remind myself that I am sick and tired of writing columns that contain words like these:

Almost annually, I write a soliloquy about a woman, who, at the present time – no longer is a part of my existence. Over and over again, I have put my heart’s feelings and desires to paper, telling the world that, “she” was, “the one.” And that, “this time, it was different.” – only to eat my words yet again. Constantly, have I told my family, my friends, my colleagues and my column readers how deeply in love I was – only wishing I had the power to redact my own thoughts…

…not any more.

Will I pursue the fairer sex? Yes. Will I go on dates? Yes. Will I enjoy the company of women? Yes. Will I fall in love?

Absolutely not.