Having always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, I am never shocked or surprised when something coincidental occurs in my life. On the contrary, when something that is too much of a coincidence happens to me, I just smile and know in my heart that it was meant to be – like the circumstances that lead to me living in Doug’s apartment.

Before September 11th, Amy and Doug shared an apartment together and lived across the hall from our friend Woody. After the atrocity that stole Doug’s life, she asked Woody to switch apartments with her because of the obvious difficulty of going home to a home she shared with Doug – and Woody selflessly agreed and has been living in what was Doug’s apartment from a few days after the attack until May of 2004, when she moved out – giving Woody back his apartment – and leaving Doug’s vacant for the first time since 1998.

In July of 2003, I signed a one-year lease in what is now my old apartment on East 19th Street, a place I always saw as temporary until something better came along – and that something better came in June when Woody asked me if I would be interested in taking Doug’s apartment now that it was empty. After he asked me, I thought about it, leapt at the chance – and moved in last Friday to a place that has been a regular hangout of mine for the last six years – and is now my new home.

I have been told by some of my friends and colleagues that moving into the apartment of the friend I lost on September 11th is therapeutic – while others think it’s the worst thing I could do. But from the moment my first box of belongings passed through the front door of the apartment, I knew moving into Doug’s apartment was definitely the right decision.

Since Friday afternoon, I have done nothing but unpack and put my new home together as quickly as possible, because I refuse to live in disarray – and because I started a new job today and did not want to go home to an unpacked house after my first day of work. While working as hard as I have over the last three days has been very taxing, it has been a lot easier thanks to my friends. From Paul, Paulie and Jeff who helped me carry boxes out of one apartment into the other, to my old friends and now new neighbors Woody and Michelle who provided a very warm welcome by helping me connect electronics, hang pictures and cook dinner since Keyspan did not turn on my gas yet – to Christine, who spent so much time with and provided so much unconditional love to Beavis – that she is solely responsible for Beavis’ amazingly easy transition from my old apartment to my new home.

Despite the fact that I have only been living in Doug’s apartment for two days – I already feel him there. Besides his presence, many of his belongings still live there too. From his futon to his entertainment center to his clock to his corkboard – to the Yankees tie that Amy gave me when she was sorting through his things after we lost him – some of what was Douglas Farnum is still alive and well there…

…I just wish he still was too.