I am not a parent, nor do I ever want to be – and I also do not get that “warm and fuzzy” feeling when it comes to children. On the contrary, I get very annoyed when children are disruptive, unbearably loud – and quite frankly – rude in public places. And while any parent that reads this column may be angry with me – I feel that I am completely justified in how I feel.

On Friday, Summer and I passed a pizza place in Sheepshead Bay on our way back from the store. Wanting to get some Italian Ices, we went into the pizza place to find a family of four having dinner. One of the two children was a four or five year old boy who was – for lack of a better word – shrieking at the top of his lungs at a pitch that would make anyone’s ears bleed. Over and over again this child was shrieking – and each shriek was louder than the next. As I stared at this child – and tried to keep the blood from gushing out of my ears – I noticed that the parents of the child were simply carrying on a conversation and completely ignoring their child and his shrieks. And as I made my way out of the pizza place, which could not have been fast enough – the father of the child noticed my discomfort and actually had that gall to ask me if there was a problem. Yes there was a problem – his shrieking child that he did not have the decency to control in public.

If that little episode does not prove my point, then this one will. Today, my nephew Joey, Summer and myself went to the UA Theater to see Spider-Man 2. While the movie was great and worth seeing if you have not seen it – make sure you see it without the little child in my theater who was making weird noises throughout the entire two-hour and seven-minute movie. From the opening scene to the final credits, this child was making strange noises that I could not describe no matter how hard I tried. Despite the number of times I screamed “Shhh!” at the top of my lungs, no matter the fact that the child made the strange noises every five seconds throughout the entire movie – and despite the fact that I was not the only one upset by the child’s constant distractions – the parents of the child once again did not have the decency to remove him or her from the theater – and let everyone else enjoy the movie that they paid ten bucks to see.

I am well aware that kids making noise is part of “kids being kids” – but am I being unreasonable when I ask that parents of children who cannot keep quiet in a public place take them outside until they calm down? If I had a child and I was at, say a restaurant and my child began crying or shrieking at the top of his or her lungs – I would pick up my child and take him or her outside so everyone else in the restaurant could enjoy their meal. I am not saying that children should be banned from society until they are eighteen years of age – I am just saying that anyone who is in a public place, no matter their age – should respect the other people in the public place with them – and that responsibility falls upon the parents of children that have difficulty keeping quiet in public.

I am sure that in some people’s eyes, this column makes me look like a child-hater, but I am not. I am simply someone who gets very annoyed when parents do not respect other people and allow their child to do whatever they want regardless of the other people around them. If having children is a person’s choice – than dealing with a person’s disruptive child should be too.