What defines a man’s masculinity? What makes a man a “man?” And what type of “behavior” makes a man “in touch with his feminine side?” Summer and I had a wonderful evening last night – which culminated in the answering of those very questions.

All my life, I have always been a man who is not the “typical guy.” I do not know how to fix anything, I can’t build anything to save my life – and if my girlfriend was ever threatened by a group of thugs – I would defend her to my death – which would probably come in approximately three seconds. On top of that, I cry at romantic movies, I love to cook, and I am a total neat freak…

…so does this “behavior” mean that I am, “in touch with my feminine side?”

As part of our wonderful evening, Summer and I watched 50 First Dates. The story focused on the fact that Adam Sandler’s character was sensitive, romantic, caring – and head-over-heels in love when it came to his love interest – played by the beautiful Drew Barrymore. As we watched the movie, Summer commented that I was a lot like Sandler’s character – because like him – I am “in touch with my feminine side?”

If that is true, and I am “in touch with my feminine side” – does that make me less of a man?

I will admit that while I absorbed what she said with absolutely no anger, Her statement did make me wonder what makes a man more or less masculine. I will admit that if a lady is looking for the “rough and rugged” type and looks to me – she is certainly barking up the wrong tree. But if her idea of the “perfect man” is caring, romantic, sensitive, attentive and loving – she came to the right place…

…but does that mean she found a true “man” in me?

I can’t count the number of times I have been in a situation where a number of my male friends were doing something “masculine” – and I felt completely out of the loop. Like yesterday when Woody needed to move his couch from one apartment to the other. He proceeded to hand me a pair of pliers and asked me to take the doors of both apartments off the hinges – and I didn’t know how. Or when some friends of mine at the TLC were once discussing the best way to put up sheetrock, a conversation that forced me to keep silent – because I am lucky I can hang a picture. Or when my friend John from Bergen Avenue was showing me the fastest way to change the spark plugs on his motorcycle – something I couldn’t do to save my life. The sad part is that while these things are not only “masculine” – they are necessary for survival – and I can’t do any of them if my life depended on it.

Maybe my lack of “manly” skills – which sounds a lot better than my lack of “masculinity” – is due to the fact that I was raised by my mother. Maybe it is because I never took the time to learn these important tasks – or maybe I never cared to. But I feel that just because I cannot perform those “manly” skills does not make me less of a man. On the contrary, I feel that the fact that I am more sensitive towards myself and more attentive to a woman’s feelings makes me just as much of a man as anybody else – no matter what “side” of me I am in touch with…

…just don’t ask me to fix anything.