I was on the train this morning when I glanced at someone who was reading today’s New York Post. Well known for planning only “important and newsworthy” stories on its front page, today was no different – as the “exclusive” headline read, “Cup And Gown: Breast Jobs New Grad Fad For Girls.”

According to the story, plastic surgeons in 2003 performed 280,401 breast augmentations – or “boob jobs” as the paper so eloquently called them – 150,208 of which were performed on women 34 years of age or younger – and a staggering 11,326 on 18-year-old girls.

Quoted in the story was Dr. Leroy Young, Co-Chair of the American Society For Aesthetic Plastic Surgery’s Breast Surgery Committee, who claimed that, “The media and fashion industries emphasizes breasts and a curvaceous figure.” Considering the fact that “boob jobs” were the front page story of a “major” New York City newspaper – I am inclined to agree – especially since the full-color photograph on the Post’s cover was of 19-year-old Heather Panzner of Hauppauge, Long Island – sporting her new 34-C breasts for all to see.

At a cost of $6,750, Heather got the “treasured chest” as the Post so eloquently referred to as the Post again so eloquently referred to them, because, “I wanted my bathing suits and clothes to fit.”

My clothes fit just fine – and I don’t even have breasts.

“To me,” Heather continued, “its no different than people who go tanning beds or buy expensive clothes or makeup.”

Hello?

Last time I tanned, nobody cut my chest open and shoved two saline-filled balloons under my nipples and sewed me back up. And while tanning is also somewhat dangerous, side effects do not include surgical bleeding, infection – or disfigurement.

The story also quoted Kathy Keithly Johnson, the Executive Director of Toxic Discovery, an anti-implant group based in Columbia, Missouri, who shamed any parent who would, “endanger a teenager that way.”

Amen sister.

Our society is so fixated on breasts and beauty that they make girls feel inferior no matter how big or small their breasts may be. I can tell you that I dated women who had A-cups – and women who had D-cups – and it makes absolutely no difference to me. While an unfortunately large number of men would disagree with me – I feel that if a woman’s breasts do not grow larger than a B-cup – she should not be made to feel that she was born without arms or legs. She can still be sexy, she can still be a wonderful partner – and she can even breast-feed a baby. But if our society has its way – every woman in the world will have “huge jugs” – whether they want them or not.

Ladies, if you are considering implants, please do not get them. Be happy with what God gave you and realize that you are beautiful – no matter the size of your mammary glands…

…unless you want to listen to a bunch of boobs.