A Penny For My Thoughts

Gone Fishin’

By Paul Wein

At 8:00am on a Saturday morning, most people would be asleep enjoying the ability to wake up without the use of an alarm clock. But since I only require three or four hours of sleep a night, since I am always woken up by Beavis before the sun rises – and since I was invited on a morning fishing trip anyway – I decided to go – and in doing so – enjoyed a wonderful day at sea.

The Taxi & Limousine Commission’s Columbia Association, which is a charitable organization made up of TLC inspectors and managers, holds an annual fishing trip that departs from the Sheepshead Bay Fishing Docks – which are only five blocks from my front door. So considering the fact that I used to work with the people in the Association, seeing as how the boat was only walking distance from my house – and since I promised myself that this would be the best year of my life – I took the bait – hook, line and sinker and went on the fishing trip.

As soon as the Sea Queen IV departed from the dock on Emmons Avenue, I knew this was going to be a great day. Traveling over a liquid blue carpet with a matching ceiling of clear blue sky with nothing but fresh sea air to fill my hungry lungs, we traveled at high speed to the middle of the Rockaways to begin our quest to catch fish – and while everyone else succeeded – I failed miserably.

As soon as we were told to drop our lines, a few people caught Flukes, many of which were too small to keep by Federal Law, some people caught Sea Robins – and I caught nothing. But no matter the number of fish caught – the fun was the real catch of the day.

I have only fished three or four times in my life, with the most recent being when I was in Alaska in July, 2001. When I was there, I caught three fish that Montel threw back. The first two fish I caught were what she referred to as “bottom suckers” and were not worth keeping – and the third and final fish I caught was a Salmon that according to her was too small to keep. On this trip, I couldn’t catch a cold, so I rode the vessel back to dock at noon, disembarked and went home for the hour lunch break – and came back on the boat for the second half of the fishing expedition – and a second bite at the illusive aquatic apple.

Once we stopped at our first fishing spot on the second leg of our day trip, people were catching fish like they were in a barrel – including a 7-year-old named Maurice who caught two fish large enough to keep – while my hook remained empty. After a while, when we moved to another prospective fishing spot, I hoped that I would catch at least one fish – just one – even if it was too small to keep.

And then – it finally happened.

I was holding my rod and reel in one hand and a cold Bud in the other when my line began to jerk ferociously. With all my might, I turned the reel and pulled upwards until I saw a fish slowly emerging from the murky water. It was a Sea Robin – and I caught it. After I threw that one back, I caught a Fluke not a minute later. My fellow fisherman laughed as I reacted, as one fisherman put it, “like I caught a Mako.” But I didn’t care if the fish was an inch long – all I cared about was that I finally caught something. But as quickly as my successful fishing streak began – it ended – and those were the only two fish I caught all day.

By the time we made it to our third spot, I was ready to throw in the towel. Almost everyone around me caught fish one after the other – while I tried desperately to catch anything to no avail. It got to the point where it felt like I could have put a pound of gold or a porterhouse steak on my hook – and still caught nothing. But relentlessly, I tried, despite the fact that I would have had better luck with a snorkel and a spear. But with two hours to go until our fishing trip came to an end, we moved on to spot number four.

The most annoying thing about fishing is that when I cast my line into the water, my eight ounce sinker suddenly felt like it weighed fifty pounds – and I thought I had a fish. So I would pull up my line, only to see the two pieces of Spearing I used as bait staring back at me – while everyone around me reeled in fish after fish after fish.

After a final, desperate, last ditch effort of putting six Spearing and one piece of Sea Robin on my hook at the same time – and after an hour of trying to catch a fish and only hooking my pointer finger – I finally threw the bait in the ocean and threw in the towel – leaving fishing to those who have more than one percent of skill when it comes to catching “the big one” – because after trying my luck at fishing for close to nine hours – I realized that if our society still required people to catch their own food – I would starve to death very quickly – while others, like 7-year-old Maurice – would survive and thrive.

By the time we reached our fifth spot, over 200 fish were caught – only two of which were caught by me. And while everyone was outside on the deck catching even more fish – I decided to no longer humiliate myself by holding a fishing rod that may as well have had no fishing line on it. Instead, I sat in the boat and enjoyed the fresh sea air, the cold beer, and the warmth of the friends that joined me on my seafaring adventure.

So regardless of the moral that if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish he will eat for life – I learned that if you gave me a fish, I would at least eat for a day, but if I try to fish – I won’t catch one to save my life. I also realized that the next time I am invited on a fishing trip, I will politely decline – because while I may have had a good time, you can be sure that the next time I go fishing, it will be in a restaurant’s lobster tank…

…that way I am guaranteed to catch “the big one.”

“We took on diesel back in Montauk yesterday,
and left this morning from the bell in Gardner’s Bay.
Like all the locals here I’ve had to sell my home.
Too proud to leave I worked my fingers to the bone,
so I could own my Downeaster “Alexa,”
and I go where the ocean is deep.
There are giants out there in the canyons.
And a good captain can’t fall asleep.
I’ve got bills to pay and children who need clothes.
I know there’s fish out there but where God only knows.
They say these waters aren’t what they used to be.
But I’ve got people back on land who count on me,
so if you see my Downeaster “Alexa,”
and if you work with the rod and the reel,
tell my wife I am trolling Atlantis,
and I still have my hands on the wheel.”
Billy Joel – The Downeaster “Alexa”