They Just Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To
By Paul Wein
When I was a child, there was no other day of the year that had the magic, wonder and joy of Christmas Eve. As soon as my eyes would open on Christmas Eve morning, I would get into full Christmas mode. I would put my Santa hat on, turn on the Christmas music - and run to the Christmas tree and try to guess what my presents were.
Then later that afternoon, my family would arrive and the big holiday dinner would begin. From a giant salad, to shrimp cocktail, to lobster FraDiavlo, nobody did Christmas dinner like my mother. And then after dinner, we would all sit around and open presents, sing Christmas carols, take pictures together - and share the joy of the holidays as one, big, happy family.
Today is Christmas Eve, and I am a few hours away from doing the exact same thing - and it is the last thing I want to do.
Nothing against my family, but all I want for Christmas is to spend it alone. I have absolutely no desire or interest to do anything even remotely related to Christmas. If I had my way, I would go home tonight, make myself a steak, watch movies on DVD - and do the same thing tomorrow - all while anxiously awaiting the arrival of December 26th.
The biggest reason for my lack of Christmas spirit is due to all that I have been through this year. Take it from me that a hearty helping of betrayal and heartbreak can certainly take away anyone's holiday spirit. But I think another reason I do not want to celebrate Christmas this year is because I have lost the magic I used to feel as a child when Christmas would come. I remember so vividly the excitement the holiday season would bring me when I was young. To me, Christmas Eve began when Santa Claus would culminate the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and not end until after New Year's Day. How I would love putting up my Christmas decorations to perfect detail and enjoy turning them on as soon as I got up in the morning or got home from school. This year, I have not put up a single Christmas decoration, sent out any Christmas cards - or watched any Christmas related television shows.
With the 2003 Christmas season thankfully almost over and the end of this awful year just one week away, I look toward making 2004 one of the best years I have ever had - one that will hopefully culminate with a very Merry Christmas.
But until then - Ba humbug.