I am proud to say that my mother raised me with a very positive upbringing. As I grew up, I was always taught that you get more with honey than you do with vinegar, and to always treat everyone you encounter – whether they are a friend, a co-worker, a roommate or a girlfriend – the way you would want to be treated. Throughout my life, I am proud to say that I have adhered to my mother’s words and feel I have done just what I was brought up to do – treat people right.

But while I have tried to be cordial and caring to everyone I come in contact with – I do not always receive the same in return. In fact, there are times where I have been taken advantage of, lied to – and downright screwed by people that I thought were close to me and believed were people that would never do something like that to me. In fact, it has happened to me more this year than any other – and surprisingly – by some of the closest people in my life.

The saddest part is that when it comes to those I speak of, I really and truly feel that I didn’t do anything to warrant what they did to me. I simply tried to be the same person to them that I am to everyone else. But despite my kindness, they decided to hurt me anyway. I can’t tell you how hard it has been to deal with the different incidents of betrayal these people have committed against me. I really thought that these people cared for me and would never even consider hurting me at the level they did. I would be lying if I said that I have never caused anyone pain in my life – but I never could have dreamed of hurting someone so painfully and so personally as this.

Everyone has this happen to them at some point in their life. When it does, one is left feeling betrayed, shocked and even numb because one would expect this type of behavior from a shady acquaintance, or a business associate with an agenda – not from someone very close to the vest. Someone that you have entrusted with your friendship, your home – or your heart. Sadly, I have experienced three different incidents of betrayal and deception this year.

The three incidents of hurt and betrayal I speak of began with friends that turned my house into their own and would not go home when I asked them to – something that anyone else would do when the person living in the home they are visiting asked his or her guests to leave. Basically, they felt that just because I wanted to go to sleep didn’t mean they had to go home. It wound up getting to the point where, after a few hours of literally begging them to go home and give me just one night by myself, I was told to “go about my business” because they were not going to leave no matter how much I wanted them to. I always opened my home to my friends with limitless generosity and very friendly hospitality – but they took my kindness to a level that saw me literally lose control of my own house.

The second level of hurt came from my former roommate who, apparently hates me so much that this person has spent the last few months defaming me to anyone who will listen. The funny thing is that since we moved into separate apartments, I have not spoken to this person at all, but instead have simply tried to go on with my life. Rather than do the same, this person has instead written horrible things and made terrible accusations about me on my message board, to me directly via e-mails – and even to my boss almost costing me my job. People have falling-outs all the time, especially roommates, because it is sometimes hard for people to live together – but I never thought this person’s anger toward me would be taken to the level it was. We may not have parted on the best of terms, but I would never have gone so far as to make threats to him, accuse him of killing the friend he lost on September 11th – or try to get him fired. To me, no degree of fighting or anger would have reached a level where I would want to ruin this person’s life. Hating me is one thing – launching a personal campaign to defame and destroy me is another.

The third and probably most upsetting incident I unfortunately experienced this year was being not only heartbroken, but being outright fooled by a woman I gave my heart to. When two people meet and decide that they like each other more than just friends, they usually decide what their next step will be in terms of a relationship. When it came time for this woman and I to make that decision, it was her who gave me all the signs pointing to the fact that she was not only madly and truly in love with me – but was so smitten that she wanted to move in with me and leave her life behind. She even went so far as to tell those closest to me – including my own mother – that I was the best thing to ever happen to her and that she wanted nothing more than to move in with me. I, of course, leapt at the idea because, besides the fact that I did, at the time, have feelings for her – it was her who made the decision to move and her who gave me such profound signs that even included sending a bridal magazine to my house addressed to her with my last name. Her signals had me so convinced that everyone from my barber to my co-workers to my family knew who she was and how much we cared for each other. Then, with only four days to go until she was supposed to move here, she sent me a “Dear John” e-mail telling me that she wasn’t moving – but that is not the part that hurts. What hurts so bad was that she informed me in the e-mail that she did not have the feelings I thought she did for me – and she was questioning this for a very long time. People break up all the time. I have done it and so have so many others. What kills me is that she allowed me to foolishly walk around believing that she loved me. She had so many opportunities to tell me that her feelings changed, but instead continued to fool me into thinking that I was the love of her life. And after informing me the way she did, via e-mail instead of having the decency to call me – she was able to so simply and so easily walk away and drop all communication with me as if nothing at all happened in the first place. While her not moving here was certainly for the best – it was the way she handled it that was extremely unexpected and very painful – at least to me.

After experiencing these very unpleasant events this year, it is no wonder why I long for January 1, 2004 to arrive. This has been an extremely tough year for me in many aspects – but it was these three unfortunate and completely unnecessary experiences that make me want to forget that I lived through 2003 at all.

Here’s hoping for a happier new year.