I did something today that I have done countless times before in my life. Something that comes so naturally to me - that I could do it with my eyes closed. Something that I did every single day, seven days a week, for two straight years without missing a single day - and something that made me cry as I did it today - because I have not done it for so long. The "something" I am referring to is Moderating the South Park Digest.

From September 1, 1999 to June of 2002, I was the "official" Moderator of the South Park Digest. In those three years, I sent out well over a thousand Digests, and in doing so - changed the fabric of my entire life. I made friends, traveled places, and even fell in love. And after the "official" Digest ended, I continued Moderating until around October 2002 when my life began traveling down "Drama Boulevard." After my tenure came to an unfortunate and abrupt end, the Digest continued thanks to people that were able to take the reigns from me and do the same - if not better a job.

Despite the fact that it was my decision to walk away - each day without Moderating a Digest was like pouring salt in an open, bleeding wound - because before I said good-bye - the Digest and it's members were a daily part of my existence. The sun would not set without me sending a Digest to the members of the Booster Club that patiently waited for it, and corresponding with dozens of Digesters who loved the Digest and my accompanying comments. And just like that - both it and they were gone - and I was without them for the first time in three years.

To be honest, I cried many nights over the fact that I had to abandon the Digest and it's members. But as I stated before, it was the best thing for them and for me. To fake my normal enthusiasm or to pretend to be someone I could not at the time was something that the members of the Digest did not deserve. So I did what was best for the Digest despite the pain it caused me. But as my Blessed life always does - it comes full circle - because once again - I sent out my first official Digest today.

As I was half way through it, my Winamp player, which was set to "random play" switched to Creed's My Sacrifice. As soon as I heard the song - I started to cry because I remembered the sacrifice I made to give up this Digest - and the relief I felt today that I was back in the Moderator's chair. The South Park Digest has brought more to my life than anything. And that was proven in the last two months when in that time, I went to Chicago to see my Godson and my family, to Florida to see the woman of my dreams - and to Cincinnati to see the members of my Digest family. Without the South Park Digest - I would not have gone to any of those Cities - much less known the people I went to see. So to be back in the fray of the Digest as their Moderator - and to be welcomed back with wide open arms made my emotions get the best of me - and for a very good reason.

To the members of the Digest - I want to say thank you so much for welcoming me back as your Moderator and not hating me for walking away from all of you. I can't predict the future or what lies ahead for me or for any of us, but I can promise that thanks to my Year of Hell - I know now not to let the world get the best of me, and should bad times arise again - you'll have to kill me to get me away from the South Park Digest - or from any of you.

I love you guys - and it is great to be back!