I woke up this morning to log on to Ring Fever's website as I always do and noticed that the pictures from our shoot with Lita were up. After looking at them and seeing pictures of Lita wearing a Ring Fever T-shirt, me interviewing some of our fans, and seeing the rest of the Ring Fever crew, I realized that despite all of those photos - someone was missing. Someone who belongs in those photos was not there - and never will be. And even though it has been a month and a half since he left us - it still feels like it was yesterday.

Whenever I did a wrestling shoot, Bradd was always there. From the first times we were lucky enough to interview our idols like Tito Santana, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Rick Martel to our first time in the ring - to standing next to Triple H and Chyna - it wasn't Paul, it was Paul and Bradd - and now it's just Paul.

To be honest, I am having a lot of difficulty trying to cope with the fact that my best friend is gone forever. I watch wrestling and I think of him, I hear a song on the radio and it makes me cry - and I see his picture all over the place - and the worst part is that's all I have left.

Why? Why Bradd? What did that kid ever do to deserve a fate like that? Sure, he pissed people off a lot, but no one deserves to have their life fade right in the middle of its prime. Bottom line - Bradd didn't get a fair chance.

So I am going to try my best to live the dreams that Bradd didn't get the chance to live for himself. From this moment on, every wrestler I interview, TV show I tape - or match I commentate I will do in Bradd's honor. There will not be one day that I will not try my best to do something that Bradd would have done - if only he had the chance to do it.

I hope that this will get easier soon - because my heart really hurts.