By Paul Wein
For tonight, I waited outside the Pavilion Theatre in Park Slope, Brooklyn with a feeling of anticipation I have not felt since my age consisted of only one digit. I must have looked at my watch dozens of times each minute waiting for the time to pass – and when it did – I saw South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut.
From the first time I saw South Park, I was amazed by how they can offer their viewers a half hour consisting of a complete abandonment of morals, an abundance of more-than-obvious racial, ethnic, and sexual references, and a collection of characters ranging from an in-the-closet-split-personality school teacher whose lessons include “Why Chubby Checker Left The Beatles In 1972” and “Englebert Humperdink – The First Person On The Moon”; and a gullible, illiterate police officer who thinks that it is illegal for Jews to eat Christmas snow and mistook a half-dozen low-flying CIA helicopters for a pigeon – and still have one of the most successful animated shows in the history of television.
From that first episode, I joined a group of devoted followers who gather together every Wednesday night at 10:00pm to see the latest episode, because missing a new episode of South Park would be like missing your own birthday party. I acquired enough knowledge of the show to recite full episodes by request. I even became such a fan of the show that I have incorporated South Park terminology as part of my daily language. So when I learned that my favorite television show was coming to the big screen; for a full ninety minutes; with no commercials; and an “R” rating, where else would I be opening night?
As for the controversy surrounding the movie: was there foul language? Yes. Was there at least one thing in that movie to offend every single person on the planet (including me)? Yes. Was it full of racist stereotypes and undertones? Yes. Was there an abundant amount of homosexual references? Yes. Can I name something else that contains those exact same elements? Yes – Television. So with that said, I will continue.
If I told you only one percent of the things I wanted to tell you about the movie, this review would be bigger then Cartman’s ass – and it would ruin the movie for you. So I will not disclose anything regarding the plot of the movie except this – the movie did have a consistent and sometimes dramatic plot that kept me on the edge of my seat wondering what will become of my favorite quiet mountain town, as well as a few subplots that were just as encapsulating. In addition to the main plot, we follow the torrid and twisted love affair between a sensitive, needy, emotional Satan and his domineering, sex-hungry lover, Saddam Hussein, who cares only about sex and not about Satan’s needs and feelings; We watch Stan’s heart break as he helplessly watches as someone new tries to steal Wendy’s heart; and we see Cartman’s torment as he copes with the fact that he has a chip implanted in his mind that shocks him whenever he curses while accidentally discovering on the internet that his mother is the star of a movie of her own. And by the end of the movie, some of our favorite characters become heroes, some are taught valuable lessons – and some get killed – now if that’s not edge-of-your-seat stuff, what is?
One thing I have always loved about South Park is the musical numbers. From “It’s Hard To Be A Jew On Christmas” to “Tonight Is Right For Love”, each episode provided us with an entertaining musical interlude. The movie had more musical numbers in it than every episode combined, and each one made me laugh harder than the previous one. The movie started off with Kenny, Kyle, Cartman and Stan singing the praises of their “Favorite Quiet Mountain Town”, which was followed by such numbers as “Shut Your &%#$(@! Face Uncle&%#$(@” by Terrance and Phillip, “Up There” by Satan, “There’s The Girl I Like” by Stan Marsh and “Just Say Mmkay” by Mr. Mackey that, in addition to being hysterically funny on their own – were combined into one song and dance number – and that was all before the movie was even half over. There are many other songs sung by Saddam, Kyle’s Mom, and more – even an old favorite that everyone knows the words to.
To sum the movie up, I’ll say this – Only Trey Parker and Matt Stone can take all of the elements of their already successful show, add a handful of new faces, a few dozen political and moral messages, a #$%&load of dance numbers, a few hundred special effects – and as much &%#$(@! foul language as you #%#$&%* want to, and wind up with ninety minutes of the best &%#$(@! movie I will ever see.
Viva La Resistance!